As we smiled at each ather

Just before I threw the boquet

I made a secret promise to myself
On that warm June day
You were the height of perfection
And so I vowed, you see:
I’ll always forgive you…
…even if it kills me.


I know that it was never you
That it was always me
And I’d always beg and plead
For you to forgive me
But the look upon your face
Was one I could not tell
Whether it was fear, surprise,
Or God forbid—
Unrestricted pity.


I know you could not break that dish--
It was my clumsy broom.
I know you did not spend our cash—
I lost it in my room.
I know you broke my arm,
But like you said, it was accidental.
I know that you broke my heart
And now it can’t be fixed
So as I smile and nod and forgive
I sip from the bottle of poison
I hid on the ****f in my bedroom
In case courtesy killed me.


It seems that the time is right
Its use has finally come
I want you to know
(I left you a note!)
That I will always love you
I’m doing this because apparently
My burden on you is too much
Perhaps the air you breathe every day
Is just as heavy as me.


And though I love you very much
I fear it was all me and not you
So as I go, there’s naught to mourn
A tear-stained pillow’s comfort
Is oft overlooked and discarded
And so, I will never ask pardon again
Instead I will thoroughly remove
The burden I imposed upon you
But I just wanted you to know
That’til the end…
I always forgave you…
…even if it killed me.